Waayyyyyy Time part 1

hey u all. sorry for not being able to blog. quite alot of things has happened all this while. firstly, i was at SGH on the 14th. went for my colonoscopy which was scheduled at around 1:30pm. im not going to explain wat it is.. kinda embarassing. so.. i was admitted for the day.. didnt have to stay overnight.. then i was put on anaesthesia.. they first poked the needle linked to tube linked to syringe.. into my right hand.. one of the veins.. then they realised no blood came out.. nurse said that my vein's too thin.. no blood. hahah. painful man. then doctor made fun of me and asked if im a pampered daughter who doesnt do any form of housework watsoever. i protested.. then they grabbed my left hand and kept whacking it.. attempting to look for a thick vein. ah ha! they found one. a super thick bulging one. its at the side of my left wrist. doctor was like telling me how it wont hurt but i ended screaming and said tat he lied. after a while.. i was half laughing and half crying from the pain.. then he asked me if i felt sleepy.. i said a little bit and the next moment.. i concussed.

i awoke only to find myself to be awakened by the nurse. everything was over. somehow i got up and she led me to the toilet and handed my things/clothes back to me and somehow i got changed. why do i say somehow? cos i really cant recall that i put on my clothes by myself.. or how i did it. hahaha. it was hilarious.

then they gave me a cup of milo.. sat me down somewhere. i didnt realise tat i fell asleep.. then i was holding the milo in my hand. next thing i knew.. the nurse woke me up and said, "girl, dont hold the milo and sleep.. later spill." then she took my milo and put it on the table.

and somehow i left tat department and went to meet my mom downstairs. i was supposed to go to blk 4 level 1. i took the lift and exited on some storey. i dont know which.. and stopped in my footsteps and puked. do note tat i didnt eat anything the night before and tat morning or after. i guess the sip of milo which i had.. my stomach just couldnt take it. i threw up on the floor. and also cos the anaesthesia having its effect on me. i was later wheeled to where i was supposed to go.. and my mom met me.. went to pick up my medication and later took a bus home.

i slept all the way on the bus back home. i was exhausted. must be the anaesthesia.

i think im going to stop here. i cant stop crying. there r so many things on my mind. im thinking abt jon.. abt school, about my friends and about everything tat has been going on in my life. im depressed. im lonely and im tired. my life seems to be going in circles. i keep ending up at the same place. i want to cry my heart out. im in pain, my heart is hurting.

i want to grab someone and burst into tears...