Sorry?

i think my blog to all of u out there is way overdue. i want to apologise but i know i dont mean it so why say it rite? i just realised that it is my blog and i would blog as and when i can or i please. sound like im in a bad mood? i guess i am. okay i dont guess. yes i am.

my mom just bitched. cant recall when she last did but yeah she is at it. this time it is my fault. i had dinner and i didnt wash my plate. then she went on and on.. saying this saying that. saying tat when we were younger, we used to spilt up the work and write up a roster. yeah.. like she said, tat was when we were younger. next, she went on to say tat now that we have grown up and working, we dont give her money.

to my mom though i know she wouldnt see(bryant, if u see this, shut the fuck up):

hello? im not working full-time? if i was, i would give u some. dont say all tat to me cos im not working full-time. besides, ur intended audience is ur two eldest daughters who are already working. not my fault they are not giving u money.
anyways, its been say wat 2-3 weeks since u gave me allowance. i didnt say anything or ask. i just keep quiet and eat air in school.

and mom, i havent been getting enough rest cos of schoolwork, could u be more understanding and dont scream? my headache is already bad enuff as it is with all the stress from schoolwork and the lack of sleep. i really dont need my headache to become any worse. i appreciat all you are doing for me and our family but sometimes, please.. i need my time off and some peace. u want to bitch at us, choose a better time? -end-

many reasons make up why im upset. i'd just list a few...

1. i've got two assignments due tmrw(my radio commercial and my ad analysis)
2. im broke.
3. having a rift with jon(what's new?)
4. i gave up 3 shows this week for schoolwork(which is equivalent to $100)
5. i dont have enough rest = im tired
6. i have quite a bit of stuff on my mind
7. im lonely. (ironic eh?)

quick message for those i havent seen in a while. big hello to winnie, i saw her in school for the bazaar. "regards to u my gf. take care of urself. we'll party or meet up soon eh? i miss you". i know nick wouldnt get to see this but wat the hell... "i miss you. dearly." sad to say, i think we're not even friends now. friends dont do the things you do. friends dont do the things we did. and friends dont ignore friends with words like "im busy". to halim, "dude, im sorry i havent been there for you. i have no excuse. but u've always been a friend to me. probably the truest friend i'd ever have in my life, please do continue being my friend if i do deserve it. i really do love you as a friend. i can guarantee that i'd be crying my eyes till they pop when i send u off at the airport. you are dear to me.." to hanizah, though she doesnt read my blog, "oi babe, u take care of yourself can? let's work hard! be it in school, work or our lovelife. i know u care alot for me and i do too for you. you are one of my closest gfs, i know im not ur best friend but u are dear to me as well. never give up! let's stick together!" to anita, "once my partner in crime, always my partner in crime. to more late nights together. let's hang in there!" not forgetting sharon my best friend in australia, "sharon, my best friend, for 14 years, still my best friend. im glad to see that things have always been good or at least smooth for you. work hard in australia, i do miss you and meiyen. i wont forget u guys. forgive me if ive been busy with school. i still think back to the days we shared together. i miss those days." actually, i have alot to say to alot of ppl but i dont think there would be enuff space here to say everything down to everyone.

i dont know why but i feel melancholic. i feel blue. some might think that i seem like im leaving my last words. maybe i am. i dont know. there are some things which i dont think i'd like to say. i think im just going to keep it to myself for now.

quick update for all. ive got say... 9 assignments on my hands now. sorry if i havent been free to meet up with anyone. plus ive been working at the esplanade.. anyways, ive got suggestions from friends saying tat i should put up frequent updates on the shows at the esplanade since i get to watch them. like show reviews. i was thinking it is a good idea but i need ppl to gimme their views. drop ur views in the tagboard. :)

then i got to know a few new guys.. there's yi xian.. my colleague at work.. rather nice fellow. ;) then there's jon.. another jonathan.. nice and okay dude., havent met him.. then there's shawn. actually know him from before.. met him up for dinner with binks. then there's don. havent met him either. he seems perverse though. hahaha. oops. im widening my social circle. but i dont seem to be going out alot more. ahaha.

nothing else to update i think. other than im waiting for my pay to come in at the end of the month. the last pay i got i spent already. heh. i just cant save money. bleh. oh yeah, did i mention tat i got my internship like finalised? yeah i did. yippee! so happy. well.. i guess i'd only see nick on october 25th. tats my first day of ITP. nick's birthday is on the 28th.. im gonna bake him muffins i guess. :) i know its stupid of me.. but i still want and am going to do it. im stubborn. wat to do? :P