Flashback
how time flies.. its a tuesday of a brand new week. im home now. havent been home for more than a week since bryant's birthday. was put thru the firing squad when i got home on the 30th.. i didnt argue back, just kept a straight face as everyone at home blew at me. i pitied my brother. it was his birthday and he was gonna have a party but he had to see all that shit happen right before it. it was cos it was his birthday that i didnt want him to suffer, so i left the house promptly. i so wanted to stay and celebrate his birthday but then again, everyone was unhappy to see me. i just showered, changed and left for work.
got to work that evening but i couldnt fight the tears no more.. as i told vanessa wat happened at home, my tears just kept falling. she comforted and consoled me. and there i decided that maybe i should go away and stay away from home for awhile since im not wanted anyways. that night after supper, jon and i came back to my place and i packed my stuff and left home.
mom never realises how much what she says hurts me.. only when im gone does she think and realise abt the impact of her words. oh well.. he's like that.. im numb to it anyways.
the week that i was over at jon's.. there were times and moments that i just wanted to go back home. jon calls his home.. my home too. it's really sweet of him, i know.. but afterall, im still not a part of his family unless the day i am married to him. oh yeah, did i forget to mention.. he proposed on my birthday and i said yes. =) so now im verbally engaged to jon. hah. how ironic man.
another thing i forgot, i got into mass comm.. school starts in july. YAY!! that is another thing im happy about! =)
tmrw is jon and i's 2nd month of being together. it's been great, well.. not all the time but overall, im happy and he's happy.
my birthday was on the 26th. didnt do much on that day, but it was one of the moments which i will always remember. i got an ang pao from jon's mom. auntie ruby. on the 25th, uncle joe(jon's dad) called me on my hp and wished me a happy birthday, cos he thought it was on the 25th. i got a nice home made cake from joanne(jon's sis), two chocolate pound cake slices from sara lee and two scoops of chocolate ice cream on top of it. it was much but i loved every single bit of it.
i feel very loved and cared for in jon's home. something which i dont get at home, so maybe thats why im always there.
aunty ruby and uncle joe had a dinner gathering in the house on sunday, aunty ruby's friends came over.. i was introduced to them and i felt happy, like im part of them. first time for me to feel that way. before the guests came over, i helped aunty ruby in the kitchen, helped her to wash up abit, or wherever she needed me. it was nice. i ate alittle of dinner and she offered me wine. that was nice too. god, everything seems so nice over at jon's. but at mine, i feel so cold and alone. fuck that.
mom seems to miss me. she's been trying to contact me since my disappearance. cos my hp is down, im not contactable. didnt bother to call home anyways.the only time i called home since i left it was on the 30th itself. i got vanessa to call home and ask for bryant and then i wished him a happy birthday, with a muffled teary voice of course.
mom disconnected my singtel line. jon's dad was trying to contact jon so he smsed my singtel line, not knowing that it was in use by me anymore. mom called back to uncle joe's hp. woke him up and talked to him for abit. came back to jon's place after X-men 2 and was oddly informed my uncle joe that mom wants me to call home. called her and spoke to her for abit. nothing much..
oh yeah.. im trying to look for another job. sick of working at tha wu already. *sigh* trying to get work at the pet shop at river valley. jon is out of work, indigo closed down. he's been depressed cos of that. it affected our relationship somewhat but we're alright now.. hope everything goes well in the second half of the year..
i'll end here now.. continue it another time.. over and out.